I just wanted to give everyone a quick update on things. Quite a bit has happened in the past several months, and I'd like to keep everyone in the loop!
First thing, I'm pleased to announce that I (along with a team from Bethany) will be going to Niger, West Africa for a week in October/November. I'm very excited to be going back to the place where I spent a month and a half, three years ago. That internship was one of the hardest most amazing things I've ever done... and I'm looking forward to reconnecting with some of the people I met on that first trip. Support letters will be making their way out soon.
Secondly -- I've graduated Boyce... Sort of. This is my last semester, although I have already walked! I will be 100% done with my undergrad in November. This semester I will be, Lord willing, an intern at Refuge Louisville. I will be connecting with Refugee families and building relationships -- and within that sharing the Gospel. I've already jumped in a little bit -- I had some good Gospel conversations with two Muslim men. Pray for open hearts -- and pray that God would give the Words to say and the boldness to do so when the timing is right.
Thirdly... and this is the big one -- I was turned down by the International Mission Board (IMB) to serve. I shared with some -- but not with all -- that I was applying for a Journeyman position. The Journeyman position is a two to three year assignment overseas. I barely got into the process before I was blatantly told that they felt I was 'called to stay in the States'. To put this in perspective -- as someone who grew up in the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC), I grew up learning and looking towards the IMB in amazement. When I was 14 and my passion for the nations grew and began to long to be overseas full time - I always assumed that it would be with the IMB. While I have a few health issues -- I was told time and time again that this would not affect a thing, by IMB personnel and other couples and missionaries. To be told 'no' came as a shock, especially in the way it was done. Now, I still respect the IMB -- but I was - and am - upset. From the way the IMB worded the email, it seems that I will not be approved to go with the IMB at all. It's been pinned on my medical status -- although others have thought that it may not just be that. Funding? Too much experience? Only God knows.
I feel part of it may be God telling me that I've made an idol out of missions... that I've made an idol out of the IMB, and I cannot do what I'd like to do on my own -- without His divine intervention. Now this is very evident... as I must look - and wait for God to open a door. I am personally not convinced that I am to stay in the States.... personally I feel the opposite... maybe even more so convinced that I should go because I was turned down. Although just applying for journeyman position has made me a bit more ready to go. God has really pushed a truth into my heart -- that He is all I have. Everything else, while it will be hard to give up.... is not that much in comparison.
I am encouraged by just how many people have been shocked by the IMB turning me down... and how many of you have told me that you still see God calling me to the Nations. This gives me hope, that I am by no way done with this journey. Although I am reminded that this is all God, and not me. I'm amazed by what people have said they see in me, because most of the time (if not all of the time) I don't see these qualities... I just see my sin, and my struggle.
I am praying... and hoping that this is just the beginning of a long journey. My desire "go" to the nations and share Christ is still strong, and I pray God has put that desire there... and if so, I pray God will finish what was started. I have some mixed emotions about leaving... but I'd much rather go to the nations than live a stagnant life.
Currently I'm looking at other organizations... and I'm thinking of getting my TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) certification and working as a teacher overseas. I'm not completely sure what this will look like, or where exactly I'd like to go. There's a very good chance (at this point in time)... that I will actually pick the country that I will serve in.... and I don't even know where to start. Just when I think I've got it all figured out..... I feel like I'm back in square one! This seems to be a pattern!!! Pray that God would grant wisdom and open doors. I'm very thankful for the peace and increased desire for the nations that God has given me. I'm thankful that God continues to draw me to Himself, even in my darkest moments. God remains in control. As the Psalmist says:
though the mountains tremble at its swelling.
Psalm 46:1-3 (ESV)
Psalm 46:1-3 (ESV)
Pray for me, and I ask that y'all let me know how I can pray for you. I'll try to keep y'all updated -- if the internship at Refuge pans out -- then I hope to be giving y'all updates on that as I would on any other mission.
Love y'all.
- E
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