Definitely Endo.

Written July 16,2013

Well folks, my abdomen is on fire - like usual with Endo flare ups. So it's definitely Endo. I'm thankful it's not malaria or something else - but Endo isn't fun.... But it could be worse. I have pain meds with me - that take the edge off - and it looks like today will be a cool day. It rained last night. Whenever it rains it gets so much cooler. It's nice. So maybe I won't bake in here today - and I might can get some rest - so maybe, just maybe I can go tomorrow. If not tomorrow then Thursday. I am so frustrated over this whole staying put thing. I know if I went it would just make things worse. And if I learned anything from Brazil trips - one major thing would be this - you don't risk your health when your out on the international field.... Because if you do and bad things happen - most of the time nothing can be done to help - so it's better to play it safe. 

So here I lie. On my mat. With that "belt" of pain all around my abdomen - making it pretty hard to move. I think it's time for another surgery when I get back to the states... I need to find a Obgyn in Louisville - so if any of y'all know anyone who listens and specializes in Endo - let me know. 

The girls just left for tagabody (another village close to boubon - that's harder than boubon). They're going there today and tomorrow - and I'm not sure if I'll get to go there or not. I hope I can before I leave. 

My first week here consisted of major culture shock. My second week? Endo flare. Hopefully my 3rd ,4th and,5th weeks can just be proclaiming the Gospel. 

I know I needed to experience these things before I move out on the field ~ but that doesn't mean they're my favorite things. 

If there's one thing Janet taught me - which she taught me a ton of stuff - (back at Bloomington Baptist) - it's that you don't let stuff like this (Endo) keep you down forever.... You keep chugging along. God is in control. 

I've thought about how Endo could keep me from going with the IMB (international mission board). But I've also realized - that really - there's nothing the doctors can really do in the states for me anyway - there is no cure. Just surgeries and shots - of which I could do while on stateside. Why let something that flares up once or twice a month for a few days (if that) get in the way of my dreams? I think the IMB will see that. I think they already see that - because, after all - I am here - and I did come here with the endorsement of the IMB - and I had to put on all my paperwork that I had Endo. 

But again - I've just got to trust in God - because if it's not his will that I go on the international field - then I don't want it. However, at this point - I am beyond sure that I belong on the international field.

God picks the least likely characters - that's for sure. I like my comfort zone. But... We need to be willing to give up everything - including that comfort. 

But - we get another comfort. A better comfort....

"Maybe the reason for the pain - is that we would pray for strength - and maybe the reason for the strength - is so that we would not lose hope - And maybe the reason for our hope is so that we could face the world - and the reason for the world  is to make us long for Home. 

For God so loved your broken heart, He sent His Son to where you are, and He died to give a reason for the world. So lift your sorrows to the One who's plan for you has just begun,  and rest here in the hands that hold the world." (Matthew West)

Lord Jesus, Come quickly!!