Frustration....

Written July 17, 2013

3rd day down. Pain is worse... And all I want to do is get out of this little home and go and share the Gospel. I. Am. So. Frustrated. I was about 2 seconds away from going anyway - when the girls told me that I shouldn't push it. And I know they're right.... So here I lie. I'm pretty sure my mats are super flat now - because of lying here for 2 (soon to be 3) days. Maybe after lunch I can go out. Maybe.

I don't understand why I have to have Endo pain now... It always flares up at the worst times. I know God has a reason and a purpose for it... But right now, I don't like it. 

Okay.... I never like Endo pain. But God is bigger than Endo pain. 

Maybe after lunch I can go out? Probably not... But I'm getting so antsy. 

**several hours later**

Not going out quite yet. Caitlin and April are a bit insistent that I ease back into things. I'm feeling better than this morning - so that's at least something. I slept all morning and afternoon. My appetite is picking back up - and I'm ready to be better. Lol. I'm getting a bit tired of waiting for my body to tell me it's ready - because I'm ready.

 I feel so detached from my body sometimes. It makes me long for Heaven. There's no more Endo in heaven. No more separation from God - so no more sin. Just us and our Creator. It's perfect. 

There will also not be a need for missions in heaven - because the time period that people are able to be saved will have ended. Missions exists because worship doesn't (Piper). Missions exists because true worship of our one true God does not exist within everyone's hearts. When we all get to heaven, true worship will exist. Everyone in heaven will truly worship God. Everyone. 

And everyone will admit He is Lord. Every knee will bow, and every tongue will confess.

What a wonderful and frightening day that will be. 

Keep praying for the Songhai people. Pray for April, Caitlin, and Odette  as they go about and share C2C (creation to Christ). 

Pray for me as I adjust back into the work. Pray that the pain will be gone soon, Lord willing.